Hoorah. I know it’s been awhile, but I’m finally back. The last layout rocked, but it was too small for my new screen and resolution. I know this one is kinda big, but get over it. I friggan love it. Of course it helps that it involves Marilyn, hah. The main reason it features her is because fa.org actually had it’s 1-year birthday back in May (Yeah, I’m a little late, heh) and in celebration, I thought I would make one with Miss. Monroe on it since she was the in the first layout I ever did on here. Yeah, what do you guys think?

Ok, onto the main reason for the blog: My love life and marriage is in complete limbo. I feel like I’m at a standstill and to top it off, because you know I don’t have enough going on, I know I’m being watched by Dan’s crazy wife. How you ask? Oh, well I have proof of course, but that’s for a little later. Anyway, I would love to say that before we got married everything was perfect, but I don’t feel like lieing to anyone, including myself. I don’t know how detailed I want to get since Danyal fucking stalks me (Yeah, I know you watch me, ho.) but nothing makes sense anymore. Everything I thought was reality isn’t, and it’s pissing me off.

Please don’t get me wrong. I love my husband, that isn’t the issue. The issue is.. well, I feel untouched in all senses of the word. How untouched you ask? I haven’t had sex in almost 2 months. I’ll give you a minute to let that sink in. Newlyweds not having sex. What a concept.

It’s not only the sex part and, perhaps I should clarify on that before I go on because it isn’t me. Usually it’s the woman that fakes a headache or complains, but this time it’s a reversal role. Let’s just say he’s not a giver and I don’t know how much longer I can.. take it. He has no problem getting in the mood, it’s just.. I guess he doesn’t feel like he should reciprocate the feeling to me, his fucking wife but whatever, right?

There are other things, as well. I understand that I’m not working at the moment and that he’s ass-tired when he gets home, but would it be too much to ask how my day went or even -gasp- give me attention? And a conversation? Forget it. All it consists of is me asking questions and getting the I don’t knows or nods. I’m pretty sure I didn’t sign up for that and if I did, I need to take a look at my receipt. Another big thing harbouring us is the fact I’m not allowed to be the Sarah I once was. I feel as if that part of me has faded, almost completely. Sarah b feels no more. The social butterfly I once was has been placed under glass.

Whatever. I don’t know anymore and I’m starting not to care. I feel like I’m wandering around aimlessly, going through the motions. Everyone says I’ve changed and I concur – there’s pieces of me that have died off, not just because of Chris but other reasons too. I’m not asking for pity, though. I guess I wanted to shine the light on my situation. I just wish sometimes I could break out of this cocoon and become a butterfly so I could flutter away without caring about the consequences.

I had more to blog about than I thought, heh. Lastly, if I’m not around as much online it’s because I finally bought Sims 3. I’m addicted, to say the least. Anyone else have it or have your family packaged to their website? Lemme know! Now off to the much-needed return of comments!

I almost forgot, silly me…

Hey stalker bitch: Just FYI, you can get around blocked comments, and if you’re gunna make threats, you should carry them out especially since you were already in wa. I’ll be waiting next time, count on it. Annnnnd, the more of your “friends” you send my way equals more site hits. It’s apparent I don’t need your husband to think of me, because you seem to be more wrapped up in my life than anyone else. thanks! It feeds my ego.

Sometimes I impress myself. The last blog, the drunk one, turned out to be a complete success. Here I thought I would have misspelled a bunch of things or the sentences wouldn’t make sense. Apparently I can do things when I’m intoxicated. Take that society!

I dunno if there is much to report. My life is ho-hum usually, but wait.. What’s that? sarah got a laptop yesterday! You read right. Chris, his dad, and I went to Best Buy in Coeur d’ Alene yesterday and ended up getting 2 Toshiba laptops for a little more than a g I am in friggan heaven. I feel like dancing around with it, but with my luck it would go slipping out of my hands, so we’re just gunna keep it on the coffee table for now. The main reason why I wanted it was for my school and website. I was tired of having to wait 5 minutes for a damn folder to open on the desktop muchless work with paintshop pro or photoshop. I had to get a little mouse to go with it because there is also no way I am going to design with the touchpad. The mouse I ended up getting is a Logitech Optical and is pink. It’s so cute. I will take a picture of both and put them on here because well, they’re my new babies. haha

What does suck is once I installed psp and ps onto my old computer, I ended up giving the disks back to Chris’s dad. Of course I forget about it when we were up there yesterday, so now I get to wait a whole week before I can truly work on the new theme. Friggan lame. I can still get on my old pc and use the programs but I don’t wanna. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I have also noticed that the screen resolution of my site and where the content is situated is fucked up. I have like two more screen choices than my old computer had. I guess I’ll be trying to make the new theme universal then. Bah.

The laptop also has Vista on it, so I’m trying to get used to that. Greeeeat, something else to learn while doing transcription and business math. Booooooo.

It’s almost dinner time. I did return comments to those of you that left some on the last blog. I’ll be hopping around to the affiliates to see what’s shakin’ and then probably play Texas Hold’em. Okay, maybe I’ll play Texas Hold’em and then blog hop. hehe