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Welcome to Februaryaffair.org, home to the personal blog & writing portfolio of Beara. Take a look around and please enjoy!



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Opened: May of '08
Version: #19 voodoo hoodoo
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Posts: 33
Comments: 251
Categories: 41
Lastest Post: the sky is starless
Last Commentator: clarity
Last Modified: June 13, 2010 @ 9:05 pm
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the sky is starless → 06/13/2010

Is it possible to have a life block? I know there’s that cliche of having a writer’s block, but what happens when you reach a point where it’s like that in everyday life? As of late nothing seems to hold my attention, save for a number of select things. Honestly, though, I’ll get an idea in my head and then think of a million reasons why not to do it, or I’ll think of something better to do and by the time I’m done I haven’t done anything productive aside from sitting there arguing with myself. O.O To begin with, I’m pretty surprised at the fact I found the ambition and/or motivation to even write this post. More and more I’m finding myself starting projects and then half way through getting tired of them and quitting. During the week now I hardly get to do what I want, be it web design, writing, etc, because of the demanding hours of my job. Because of that fact, one might think I would be all over the opportunity of free time. One would think wrong. I kinda feel like I’m in limbo. Really, nothing seems to interest me anymore:

I should write, I haven’t in a while — boo, boring. I can’t think of anything good.
Drawing? Let’s do it — naw, I don’t have the ambition, I don’t know what to draw…
PS3/Sims 3 sounds fun — It’ll get old in 5 minutes.

I can’t win for losing. I wish I could just find something that really did it for me, but it feels like I’ve exhausted pretty much all the measures to entertain myself. I guess being an only child and having to do entertain yourself your whole life finally takes its toll on a person. I thought about painting again and ended up winning the argument with the side of me that’s apparently very lazy lately.

Whatever, I guess. Tomorrow’s Monday, which starts the the whole work-cycle all over again. At least I’ll have another week to figure out something to occupy my spare time with.. Just wish that I could be satisfied or have a taste of what it feels like to be. x.X


updates 361 c6mments

haunting melody → 05/30/2010

I don’t think I can say it any better… Plus, it has True Blood! Season three starts June 13th, not that anyone asked; O.o I just get a lil more excited every time I see this..


music; true blood; youtube 36 c1mment